Emotions

Emotions are exhausting. Feeling them, talking about them, analyzing them, trying to understand them…everything about emotions is just simply exhausting. As I sit in my hole of a room, listening to Michael Buble and sipping a glass of wine a water, I am letting the full weight of my exhaustion hit me. I can’t help but think about the 400 million things that I should be doing, namely get my room in order, but for some reason even though I have just about talked all my emotions out I can’t help but still be thinking about what has gone on this past week. Probably to much for any one person to handle.

Monday I went to my sisters awards ceremony, then had a wonderful dinner with mom, Colton, Chuchi and Michael at Brixx, then watched Salt, which was absolutely incredible!

Tuesday I went to work.

Wednesday I went to the doctor to get something checked out, more details about that when I actually know details. Then Wednesday night, Chuchi, Colton and myself packed ourself into my moms car and headed downtown to where my dad now lives with his new girlfriend, Katherine. Woah. Lots to handle. Lots of emotion. Mostly all chalking up to I don’t know how to feel. Confusion is the best way to describe my feelings. I think the meeting went very well considering the situation. We had a good time talking around the dinner table and joking about silly things we have al done in the past. We all know I am OCD though and when Katherine untied my brand new bow on my brand new purse, I had a little  massive panic attack. 😉 No worries though it was restored to its former glory and I swear at some point I might need to get my OCD in check, but we all know that will never happen.

Thursday comes along and I have to work all morning, then come home and change and head to my first therapy session. I had no idea what to expect heading into therapy, but after realizing I need to go to some more private sessions to work through things I think it will be beneficial to fixing things in my relationship with my daddy.

But as I was driving home from dinner downtown with my dad, I found the strange need to still talk to someone. Mom is in Raleigh with Chuchi and she didn’t answer the phone, Allie is in Florida and was off to dinner so she couldn’t talk long, Michael was at Speed Street with the boys. I felt lost. I had no idea why I needed to call someone, I was physically exhausted from talking about everything, yet I couldn’t shake it. So I called Meredith. Thank goodness I did, first it was just good to talk to her because to go from spending literally 24/7 with this girl to never seeing her is quite the shock to the system! We chatted and she listened and we decided it could all be solved with a good craddle…which no one will understand unless they lived in room 322 so don’t worry about it and I would be way to embarrassed explaining it.

On a much happier lighter note, being downtown today made me really want to live downtown! (are you paying attention Michael?!) When we walked out of the restaurant there was like a little party going on, there was people and live music and it looked like so much fun, and Charlotte is just a gorgeous city I think. Also there is this really pretty greenway being built that I would love to wake up every morning and run or go for a nice walk after dinner. I think its the perfect place for young couples before they start a family.

Well I am of to tackle this awful room that I would take a picture of to show you, but I am just to embarrassed with how messy and insane it looks!

Question of the Day

How do you deal with emotions? Do you tell everyone? Do stuff them until you explode?

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